urbindictionary: megg sent me pics over skype she is on top of her counter because there is a roach on her kitchen floor i cant even see it omg THAT’S BECAUSE IT WAS UNDER THE TOWEL!!!!!! BUT LOOK! AFTER 20 MINUTES OF SITTING THERE I KILLED IT!
theofficialmrsclaus: “tell the class a little about yourself”
fishpun: you know what i love about the internet is the fact that no one really gives a fuck about age gaps i mean i’m 19 and one of my best friends on here is 14 can you even imagine how weird people irl would think that is but online it’s like nope be friends with whoever the fuck you want absolutely nothing holds you back it’s just an amazing thing ok
odgehog: sherlockedforwho: taintedhumor: this is my blogging face I literally had to stop and smile because this was exactly what my face looked like I like how we all reblog this knowing that we have to physically stop everything to smile.
watchtheskytonight: satan-official: thearchangeltrickster: bandannarama: iamtonysexual: biptch: don’t make me snap my fingers in a z formation hip rotation booty sensation ＥＴＥＲＮＡＬ ＤＡＭＮＡＴＩＯＮ *snaps fingers in a pentagram formation* *says a Latin incantation* waits for lucifer with anticipation your waiting is over my friends ALL HAIL THE LORD SATAN
inzayned: when you can’t hear what someone says and they repeat it 98 times and you’re still like
clamperl: clamperl: I HAVE A TEST TOMORROW AND I LOST THE NOTES
jinn0uchi: the-hatred-machine: purgatorystuck: Mi papá tiene 47 años= my dad is 47 years old Mi papa tiene 47 anos= my potato has 47 assholes I love spanish A capital letter changes it even further: Mi Papa tiene 47 anos = My pope has 47 anuses literally the best post I have seen on this website
doctorheavenharkness: n0kil7ing: sevenseasaurus: Science experiment: Who is easiest to summon? Egberts? Pizza? John Green? A vegan? The only way to find out is to reblog and wait. Wait patiently. Just wait. It will be good I promise. fuck you vegans aren’t your source of entertainment you animal killers. and the vegan wins
Reblog this if you're older than Google.
come-come-cardinal: keepcalmandgosurfing: geekyninja1: attend-hogwarts: grrrbarrowman: skarosoul: It scares me that there’s only 1000 reblogs. It scares me that there’s only 3000 reblogs. how old is google? google is 13 today
Reasons why I love my brother: Comes in my room to kill a roach for me at 1 in the morning
exobiologicalanachronism: winchesters-sassbutt: jaredpadaleckis: sharonosbourne: I spy with my little eye a deep emotional issue that will probably develop into a drinking problem in my near future #was this post written by a 26 year old dean winchester I may have just found my new favorite swear phrase.
If you're staying on Tumblr, reblog this.
sazuko: thepeasantcourtier: OOC: I will stay here if Yahoo doesn’t completely murder it and make it unusable/add a load of unnecessary things like email and ads to it etc. if they start trying to fuck it about I may have to consider leaving. It’s my fucking home… how could I leave!?
student: can i borrow a pencil
teacher: i don't know, CAN you?
student: yes, also colloquial irregularities occur frequently in any language and since you and the rest of our present company understood my intended meaning being particular about the distinctions between "can" and "may" is purely pedantic and arguably pretentious
nepetaquest: arguments that should be used against Yahoo buying out Tumblr: their initial offer is too low possible unnecessary ad space stricter regulations arguments that should not be used against Yahoo buying out Tumblr: “TUMBLR IS MEANT FOR OUTCASTS AND WEIRDOS ONLY” “NO ONE ELSE IS ALLOWED TO TOUCH OUR SACRED GROUND” “FANDOMS UNITE AGAINST FACEBOOKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
redmetalandgold: Please don’t take that away from me.
singularprincess: WE CAN FIX THIS WHY DON’T WE BUY YAHOO i can see it now.
Americans: YOU CAN'T SAY SWEAR WORDS ON TELEVISION OH MY GOD WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
meanwhile in Norway: welcome to the fucking news
meanwhile in the UK: dick dick balls sex gay tea GAAAAYY I'm taking off my pants on live tv this is family tv!!!
When my brother's in the shower...
-waiting for brother to get out of the shower-
-hears him singing-
me: will you quit singing?
me: QUIT SINGING. IT'S LAME
brother: WHEN I'M IN THE SHOWER, TWO THINGS GET TO BE FREE
brother: MY BALLS
brother: AND MY SOUL
do you ever just wonder if there’s someone who secretly thinks about you and wants to talk to you but doesn’t know how
peetapockets: I wonder how many people on here have heard of me. like have seen my url and thought, oh i’ve heard of her.
this is a formal apology to everyone who’s ever heard my laugh
yesimbeyonce: “FUCK KANYE WEST” the white girl says as she blasts her iPod full of Taylor Swift songs, still engulfed with rage 3 years later